Hollow
by Quietic
Summary: (DISCONTINUED)Ember has been in love with Kaname as long as she can remember, but are his feelings for her the same as he implies? Torn between Ember and Yuuki, Kaname has a decision to make. Keep his promise to Haruka and Juri or follow his heart. M to be safe.
1. Silenced

**_Vampire Knight © Matsuri Hino_**

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><p><strong>Hey guys, it's been a while. I wrote this earlier today on whim-running on no sleep. I hope this is okay. <strong>

**I know it's jumbled and you might not understand the plot, but hey. I think I did okay for doing it half awake. :D**

**This was fun to do though. I hope you guys enjoy it!**

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><p>I really don't know how it happened. All I could rationalize was the fact that I was sitting on the ground, staring into nothingness as the sun began to set in the distance. It was growing dark quickly, but I didn't care. I couldn't care; emotion was past me at this point. Something clicked in the back of my head, and I stood. I looked down at the ashes on the ground before me. The pit of my stomach twisted, and I quickly located my bag I had dropped to the ground some time ago.<p>

My bag and its contents were strewn in the sand everywhere. The stupid hunters must have went through it. Pushing that thought aside for now, I found what I was looking for quickly - my small glass vial I always kept handy to carry around my blood tablets.

Not wasting time against the wind which was starting to pick up, I quickly used my hands to collect the shiny dust that had been at my feet. It was the remains of Cyrus. I filled half the bottle until I gave up on the rest - they were a lost cause, mixed in with the dirt.

The sun was hiding behind the trees when I stood. It was hard for me to concentrate as I quickly stuffed all of my things back inside my pack. I quickly threw it over my shoulder and ran - cheating with my vampire strength and speed - back to school grounds.

I calmed down a bit when I was back on campus, but still nervous. Kaname would be mad if he knew I had been sneaking out every day while he was asleep. But I couldn't help it. He was probably already up and furiously awaiting my return. I dodged the fan girl crowd effortlessly that was growing outside of the Night Dorms.

I had to loop around once before I could find a spot where I wouldn't be in view of anyone as I hopped over the fence stealthily, quickly dodging into a bush as the front doors opened and the Night Class strode out.

"Great," I breathed, trying to focus as I moved further to the right so I wouldn't be caught. Now I had them to go around. And Kaname would be more sensitive to my scent . . . he would spot me right away, visible or not. "Dammit," I muttered, clearing talking to the brush I was now hiding in.

But it looked like I was clear. Not taking any chances, I waited until they were out of the gate and I was hiding in a set of rose bushes by the back entrance. Finally, after reassuring myself for the tenth time, I jumped upwards, out of the bushes, barely hissing at the stinging the thorns against my skin caused, and went to the back of the building.

The gatekeeper in the back was busy with paperwork, sleep still in his eyes as he yawned, his head lolling backwards. Even he was used to this nocturnal schedule we kept in the Night Dorms.

It was easy, but I quickly scaled the wall up to the low roof that rested neatly under Kaname's bedroom window. Quite convenient. I just hoped Kaname hadn't locked me out. I also hoped he wasn't - or wouldn't - be too mad at me.

The window was unlocked, much to my great relief. I swung my bare leg into the window - I was wearing shorts, for the life of me - and met the floor with my foot slowly.

I was about to swing my other in, but froze when I felt a cool hand lightly trail from my hip to my ankle. I had to bat the curtain away to see Kaname peering up at me.

"K-Kaname!" I spluttered, so surprised I nearly flew back out the window.

He must have figured my reaction, because he gently wrapped his hand around my wrist that was pushing back the drapes.

"I thought you went to class already." I said, my face heating.

"And worry about you endlessly? I wouldn't be able to stand that kind of pressure. I was about to come look for you myself."

His expression was calm, his eyes relieved even.

"Aren't you . . . mad?" I finally asked.

He reached out and cupped my red cheek. "Yes. Very deeply so. But I'm relieved you're alright. You're still . . . young, and there are hunters on the prowl killing vampires - pureblood or not."

I winced, and suddenly the vial in my bag felt like it weighed a hundred pounds.

"What?" he asked, noticing my eyes linger for too long on the floor, not wanting to look anywhere else. Anywhere else that would remind me of . . . _him._

"I sort of . . . ran into a hunter."

The hiss was low and short, and then he pulled me through the window, my leg on the other side hooking painfully onto the pane. I growled, but he pulled my leg free in a short moment and then slammed the window closed, locking it. He pulled the drapes down to cover every inch and then turned to stare down at me, the only emotion in his eyes now was hot, flaming anger. And I was the one who had started the fire.

"What happened?" he demanded, although his tone was perfectly smooth.

I kept my mouth shut, peering up at him like a child being scolded, but at the same time, I felt horribly guilty. I had been sneaking behind his back for months to see Cyrus.

"Nothing," I lied. I felt my face relax into calm facade, smoothing over with the resolve not to tell him of Cyrus. At all.

I felt horrible from keeping this from him, but I didn't want him to be disappointed. Or upset. Cyrus had been teaching me things, about being a pureblood and how to fight. He was just a teacher, just a friend. That was it. But we were too close, and within two months he started to talk about coming out publicly with our relationship, even though we didn't have one. I did love him, but only admirably, nothing romantic. I couldn't even fathom loving anyone romantically besides Kaname, even if that was just a small hope - a dream that played unfairly in the back of my mind. It wasn't like that. Not at all.

As I thought about Cyrus - finally letting the feeling of him truly being gone sink in - left me feeling hopeless. I felt my face fall, my chin jut out and my jaw snap shut audibly. I wished Kaname had gone to class; I didn't want to sit in the bathroom hiding from him while I fell into hysterical, sobbing pieces.

"Ember," he sighed, obviously frustrated. "What aren't you telling me?"

My lower lip stung as I felt my fangs puncture it. The blood ran down my chin, but my fingers swiped it away before it could travel farther. "I was meeting someone," I mumbled very delicately, licking the red from my fingers.

His eyes flared bright scarlet, either from the blood or from the anger. "Who?"

"Someone." I sat on the edge of the bed, suddenly exhausted. I set my bag down and plopped backwards, staring at the ceiling.

Kaname groaned from the window, and then was right above me, pinning my arms to my sides. "Ember," he said slowly, each word rumbling from his chest in a low growl. "If you do not tell me, so help me God, I will -" He cut off, his eyes closing in frustration. He opened them a second later, smirking down at me.

I shivered involuntarily under him. Kaname knew how I felt - he used it against me profusely, like the sadomasochist he was. I bit my lip again, this time careful not to break the skin. Instead, I focused my gaze on his forehead. It was creased in frustration, his eyebrows were furrowed causing his eyes to be cast in deep shadows. His hair was disheveled as always, falling around his face in such a perfect way it was almost able to distract me from his piercing gaze. Almost.

I turned my head away, feeling my cheeks heating as I closed my eyes, no longer able to look at him. "A friend." I finally said.

"A friend." he repeated, mock disgust in his tone.

My eyes snapped open, and the hiss was low in my throat. "You didn't know him, was my snappy defense." It took us both by surprise.

An emotion burned strongly like a lit fuse against Kaname's features. But it smoldered out like a bum, his face falling blank. "So it was a _he_ was it?"

I stared up at him, eyebrows furrowed, tears starting to build in my eyes from frustration. I don't think Kaname realized it, but his fingernails were digging harshly into my wrists. I could feel the skin breaking as his knuckles clenched tighter.

And then, I saw the emotion that had passed his features earlier. It caught me off guard, my anger evaporating like it was just condensation on a window.

It was a strange mixture of betrayal and loneliness - with a hint of . . . horror? He looked, sadly put, defeated.

"Kaname," I sighed, pulling my arms free from his now loose hands. I reached up to touch his face but my fingers touched no more than air.

I sat up quickly, and he was across the room at the opposite window. His fist balled tightly around the curtain so hard he was shaking. I stood and walked to him, only hesitating slightly as I placed both my hands over his, until he finally held still.

His eyes were torn and tortured when he looked down at me. The words came out in low snarls, in between his shaky breathing. "What happened?"

"What do you mean, _'What happened'_?" I asked.

"I mean," he said, taking a deep breath to control his temper. "What happened, to drive you into another mans arms?"

It took me a second before the puzzle pieces snapped into their rightful places inside of my head. "Oh." I whispered. "_Oh!_" I stared at him in incredulity. "Kaname," I started slowly, watching as his eyes flickered to my face. "Have you completely lost your mind enough to even _contemplate_ the simple fact of me _ever_ loving another man than _you_?"

He slowly absorbed that, his features falling to relax with relief, but still tense. "You don't love him?"

"No!" I laughed, but bit my tongue. "Not in that sense." I admitted. "We were close."

"Were?" He finally noticed the use of pretenses.

"He was killed by hunters today," I murmured, my gaze dropping. "Before my eyes."

A growl ripped through his clenched teeth. "How dare they."

I giggled, despite myself. "Weren't you just against him?"

"I meant how dare they kill in front of you." He rolled his wine coloured orbs.

"Oh, of course," I said, rolling my eyes, too.

"What was his name?" he murmured as he reached out to stroke my cheek.

"Cyrus. He was a pureblood."

He dropped his hand. "Really now? Why would you sneak out to meet him?"

"I've done it more than once." I looked away sheepishly. "He was . . . teaching me."

"On what?" he grumbled, eyeing me carefully.

"About how to fight . . . and about being a pureblood."

I could see this upset Kaname. "Why didn't you just ask me?"

I smiled slightly, looking away again. "Because I would be too distracted to actually learn anything, of course."

He mumbled something unintelligible, running a hand through his perfect auburn hair. I wished to reach out and stroke it, but he would probably just shrug away, as usual.

Kaname was very . . . touchy about our physical contact (pun almost intended). He would touch me to a certain degree, but he never really wanted _me_ touching _him_.

Our relationship - if that's what you could call it - was extremely complicated and confusing, putting it mildly. He admitted loving me, as I loved him in that sense, but yet he kept me at a distance. It hurt my feelings, but I stayed in love with him since I've first come to the academy, two years ago.

We shared his room, me occasionally sleeping on the sofa or making a mat on the floor - whatever was convenient for him. I really hated to get in his way, it bothered me constantly. I even offered to room with Ruka or Seiren, but he objected the idea abundantly, which only made me more frustrated.

I hated it the - stress of it all. He would only share brief touches with me, like him touching my cheek or hands. I would treasure the moment greatly, but at the same time, I would want to rip my hair out. I wanted Kaname like my next intake of breath. Or maybe that should be _needed_, not _wanted_.

Sharing a room with him was making it so much more hard on me. I don't know how he could stand it, but he was always so nonchalant about everything, as if my presence here didn't bother him - either that or he just _pretended_ I wasn't here. But the things that made it difficult, were the times he would walk out of the bathroom in only a towel hanging loosely from his waist. I knew it was wrong, but I always allowed my eyes to travel him when he wasn't looking; his broad shoulders, the taut muscles of his chest - how well defined he was even though he worked out no more than he ever had to begin with, and most importantly, the deep set V right above the towel, just a little below his navel . . .

The thought made me shiver. It was things like this that would end up being the death of me. And the worst part was - he was doing it all on _purpose_. Testing my resolve maybe? Or maybe my self control? It didn't matter, because it was working. He would tease me until I would be in - theoretical - tears, always dancing just out of my reach, just at the last moment.

I felt my hand hit something hard back in reality. It shook me out of my thoughts, and I stared dumbfounded to find my fist in the wall.

Kaname was staring at me incredulously.

I quickly pulled my hand back, a piece of dry wood following behind, thumping loudly as it hit the floor. My hand was covered in dust and molding. I flushed and fluidly moved out of the room into the bathroom to wash off my still clenched fist.

When I patted it dry with care - flexing it to make sure it wasn't broken or hurt any - Kaname was in the bedroom doorway, a hint of a smile tugging on the edges of his lips.

"Would you like to explain why you just put a hole in my wall?"

"No," I grumbled, pushing past him back into the bedroom.

He chuckled. "Really? You looked really . . . frustrated."

"No thanks to you," I muttered, too low for him to hear, as I began studying the wall. "Do you think it can be fixed?" I asked, louder.

"Of course." he said, nonchalant as usual.

My teeth ground together and I stomped my way into the closet, closing it behind me as I fumbled - because of my being too frustrated to concentrate - until I found the latch to open the hidden door. It swung open and I stepped inside, flicking on the light switch.

This room was where Kaname allowed me to keep my stuff, and, when I was upset, I came in here to be alone. Kaname had sworn to never step foot in here without permission, which I was now undoubtedly grateful about. Alone time for me was heaven time. It was a safe place to go to where Kaname wasn't so literally everywhere. Not even his scent was in here.

I plopped down onto a black beanbag I had set to the side, sighing. I can't believe I actually punched his wall. See? He was only making it worse. The next time it might be a whole wall. Let's just say, it was lucky today.

I grumbled to myself, fidgeting endlessly until I finally decided on a shower. A shower would hopefully wash away my thoughts of Kaname.

My clothing was strewn everywhere - in boxes, on boxes, on the floor, on a rack, in a dresser, in a trunk. I shot myself mentally for having so much crap. But I eventually scavenged up an old, ratty t-shirt, sports bra, and boy shorts. I knew Kaname didn't care what I wore. I could come out in the nude and he wouldn't pay me anymore attention then if I had been dressed in hobos clothing.

I grumbled about this, too, as I made my way into his closet and back into the bedroom. He was laying like I had been earlier, only this time facing the doorway to the bathroom. He watched me with a bemused expression and I scowled at him, wishing that looks _could_ literally kill.

"Are you over your tantrum yet?" he asked, his tone also smug. He sat up and watched me as I all but romped into the bathroom.

"No," I said as I turned on the water. I set my new clothing aside and stared at myself in the mirror, also glaring at myself.

I - despite the good lord and everything else in the world - knew that Kaname probably didn't want anything physical with the relationship was because I wasn't pretty enough for him.

My scowl quickly turned to sorrow in two heartbeats. My eyes fell to the sink, as I started to undo the tight French braid my hair had been in.

"Why so sad?" his voice asked from the bathroom doorway.

I looked up at him, but my flame of anger had been burned out long ago.

"I'm not _sad_." I spat the words, now violently tugging my hair from its stupid tangle.

"I don't believe you," he said, watching me closely.

"Why do you even _care_?" I suddenly blurt, the gloominess starting to burn harsher.

His eyebrows set over his eyes in a harsh manner. "You know why."

"Do I?" I asked, laughing as I finally started to run the brush still harshly through my long curls.

A low growl rumbled his chest. "Don't be stupid."

"Stupid?" I repeated. "I'm not being stupid, Kaname. I'm being _rational_." It took me a moment before I could speak again. I watched only my expression in the mirror, my hand starting to slow as it ran through my hair with the brush. "_You're_ the only stupid one here, _stupid_. Don't put the blame on me for this one. You're _why_ I'm . . . upset. The reason why is because what - you love me? Really? Do you, Kaname?"

I suddenly met his gaze, setting the brush down on the edge of the sink and turning off the water. He opened his mouth to speak but I spoke faster. "I don't think you do. I guess I'll give you enough credit to say you _may_, to a certain degree . . . But seriously, Kaname. Stop being blind. Or stupid. Whatever. My point is, is that you need to stop right now, Kaname. If you're just leading me on . . ." My voice faded, but I cleared my throat. I had to support my weight against the sink. I moved my eyes to the white porcelain that I was clenching my hands around.

"Then so be it. Send me on my way. But I can't just sit here and - and _suffer_ like this forever, Kaname. I may love you, more than I can put in words, but, I don't think I _can_ wait forever. It hurts worse each day . . . I get more confused and frustrated every time you open your mouth or look at me. If you really love me, Kaname," I paused, looking up to meet his eyes, which were unsurprisingly blank. "Then prove it."

But I closed the door in his face and locked the two entrances. I started the water for my shower with shaky hands.

I knew the shower effort of washing him out of my mind would now be wasted, but I still felt dirty, saying that to him.

The water was too hot on my bare skin, and I shivered violently until I could adjust to the temperature. My eyes poured with the water that showered down on me, and I bit back the sobs that eventually had me sitting curled up on the bathtubs floor. It wasn't until the water was turning cold when I could get a grip on myself. I stood up and quickly finished up washing before shutting off the shower and stepped out, wrapping my towel around me.

I almost groaned aloud - even the towel had his scent on it. I sat on the edge of the toilet and held my head in my hands, praying to have the strength to at least be civil with him until I could shut myself off in my little corner of this hectic world and try to - probable no avail, here - sleep.

Swallowing down my stupid fears, doubts, and presumptions, I stood up shakily and scrubbed my face clean in the sink until it felt raw. My body was dry by then, but my stupid hair was still dripping. I took the time to blow-dry it, even taking the time to precisely adjust it so it would come out straight.

When that time had passed all too quickly, I shrugged into my black shorts bra, gray boy-shorts and the ratty, so-worn-it-has-holes mahogany t-shirt.

I cleaned up my mess almost too thoroughly. I even took an extra moment to fold my dirty clothes and set them in the bottom of the hamper.

Not able to put it off any longer, I unlocked both doors and exited into the bedroom. Kaname was laying on the bed now, his head propped up on his fluffy, feather pillows. He stared at the ceiling without looking at me as I passed by. He looked thoughtful, but his eyes were still blank. I wondered what he was thinking.

"Goodnight," I murmured to him despite myself.

He finally moved his eyes to me. He sat up, looking after me, again with emotions moving across his features too swiftly for me to point out. "Goodnight, Ember." His tone was soft, feather light. But there was something in it that made me cringe.

I tried smiling his way once, not sure how it ended up looking, and ducked into his closet, shutting the door behind me quietly. I stood there for maybe half a minute, before I finally went into my room and locked the door behind me. I almost laughed. Like a lock could keep a vampire out. But it was the same as putting a do-not-disturb sign up, so I kept it locked anyways.

Not very happy, I started piling all my thick comforters on the floor when a knock sounded on my door. I paused, looking at the door with a dumb expression until I finally realized I had to go open it.

Kaname was standing behind it, still blank in the eyes.

"Ember," he sighed, his wine orbs finally showing a hint of emotion. Guilt. "I'm sorry, why don't you come and sleep in the bed?"

I glanced back at my pile of still-in-progress blankets, sighing. "I don't know," I murmured. It would be harder to sleep with his scent so around me like that.

He was silent, but he grabbed my wrist and dragged me out of my room, into his closet. He then - causing me to gasp and freeze - wrapped his arms around me.

I wasn't really sure how to react. A part of me wanted to smack some sense into the boy, wondering what the hell was going on. But then the other part wanted to pull him closer . . . sniff his hair.

Like a little devil on my shoulder was prodding me with his pitchfork, I wrapped my arms around his waist - since he was so stupidly tall - and stood on my toes only slightly to take a lungful of the scent coming from his beautiful - but still stupid - head.

"I'm sorry," he almost but moaned into my shoulder, leaning to press his face against me. "I didn't understand you felt like that. It's hard to interpret your emotions sometimes. But, I did do a lot of harsh teasing that shouldn't have been done I'll admit that. That was my wrong. But I do love you, Ember. So very much that it _is_ impossible to put into words."

He pulled back to look me in the eye, his own orbs smoldering. "Could you please forgive the stupid sadistic masochist standing before you?"

I felt my cheeks heat. I already knew my answer. Stupid Kaname and his stupid stupidness. I leaned into him, placing my own head on his shoulder. "I wouldn't have been able to _not_ forgive you for long anyways."

I felt him smile, and then, very lightly pull back and brush his lips against my temple. "I know this is the part that aggravates you," he whispered, his breath on my skin sending chills down my spine. "But I'm preserving you . . . in a sense." he chuckled.

"What do you mean, _'preserving me'_?" I asked, but didn't pull back. The closeness was so sudden and foreign - even through I welcomed it with more than opened arms - that I didn't want to move yet.

"You might understand later," he murmured gently, and then his lips trailed down to my jaw. "It's time for you to get some sleep. I'm sure it's been a tiring day."

I rolled my eyes, but it almost physically hurt to pull back from him. He lead me back into the bedroom and tucked me into the fluffy bed carefully.

I laid my head on the pillow and almost but lost it when he laid to my side. He also, climbed under the blankets. "I hope this is alright?" he asked, although his eyes burned for me to say it was fine.

I nodded, not able to speak.

He smiled, and then, gently wrapped his arm around me but still kept distance.

It didn't matter. He was still near, still in the same bed as me. I could sleep with that on my mind.

But, as my eyes closed, all I saw was Cyrus.

Our last few moments. He had been trying to tell me something important. But he couldn't get it out fast enough . . . the hunter had shot him in the head before his mouth could form the words. I shuddered, drifting further into unconsciousness, almost realizing, in some twisted way, that maybe those hunters hadn't just killed him randomly or on whim. It almost seemed like they were trying to stop him from telling me what he was going to say.

Almost like they had . . . _silenced_ Cyrus.

But I was probably just over thinking things. It was probably just all coincidence. But it was still haunting, that thought.

When I finally fell to sleep, I dreamed of Cyrus, his face determined and bewildered as he looked over his shoulder, still trying to say the word "_papers"_ when the bullet went through his skull.

Just a _coincidence_ . . . nothing . . . more.

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><p><strong>Well there you have it, guys. I hope you enjoyed, and I sincerely hope it was comprehensible.<strong>

**If this gets enough feedback, I'll consider continuing it. If not, it'll just become one of those sad oneshots that have no background. xD**

**Till later then!**

**~Polynox™**


	2. Thirst

**_Vampire Knight © Matsuri Hino_**

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><p><strong>Okay, so I decided to continue this. I made this as long as the last chapter(which I am extremely proud of since my limit is usually 2,000words, max). I hope you enjoy this. I think I know where this is headed . . . but still unsure about somethings.<strong>

**And, out of the kindness of my soul . . . I think I should give you a heads up.**

**WARNING: ZERO IS _KILLED_ IN THIS CHAPTER. _DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ_.**

**Oh yes, and my mistakes are my own. Enjoy~ :)**

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><p>I woke up the next morning—er, evening—with Kaname sleeping beside me. It was so odd, seeing him there. His face was oddly peaceful. I think he was actually smiling a little. I wondered what he could be dreaming about—<em>if<em> he was actually dreaming and he wasn't just pretending to sleep. It was hard to tell with him anymore.

Last night repeated in my head like a backwards movie, and I again began to wonder about Cyrus and what he had been trying to tell me. Now that I remember . . . I _do_ think it had something to do with the Hunters Society. My stomach dropped, realizing, that yes, it seemed they had only killed him because he seemed to have a hold of something that might be able to harm the name of them . . .

Kaname stirred, and his hand slipped around my waist, dragging my body into his. I froze, holding still, watching his face as his wine eyes blinked open to look over at me. His grip only tightened.

His smile was brief, as he used the back of his free hand to caress my warm cheek. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes," I said, narrowing my eyes—suspicious of the innocence in his expression. "Did you?"

"I did," he sighed, and leaned in to rest his head on my shoulder. He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes.

I melted—God, help me—and wrapped my arms around him, trying to physically hold him there forever. I felt him smile, and his hand on my waist slyly slipped up under my t-shirt to rub small, teasing circles on my bare lower back.

Shivering, one of my hands reached up to touch his face. I expected him to pull back, or sit up and say we needed to get ready for class. Instead, he let me glide my fingertips lightly from his temple to his jawline. I took advantage of the moment, and shifted to

use both of my hands to trace the features of his face—his nose; his forehead; his eyes; his cheeks; chin—I saved his lips for last.

Even just touching them, I could feel they were soft and smooth—although I pictured him kissing with rough force.

I blushed, pulling my hands back, and bit my lower lip.

He smiled, and then used both of his hands, too, to touch each inch of my face lightly. I closed my eyes, savoring the feeling. He touched my lips last, also. Very lightly, from corner to corner—top lip first, bottom lip second.

When I re-opened my eyes, his were only a movement away. I almost forgot how to breathe. He grinned, and when I went to close the short distance between us, he sat up. I fell face first into the pillows. Typical. I shouldn't have expected more.

I heard him chuckle, and I sat up, my usual scowl already etched into my features. He got up from the bed, and leaned back over to kiss my forehead and my temple, his lips trailing like they had before to my jawline, nipping the skin there. I groaned when he pulled away, frustrated. I could see it now—he _was_ still doing this teasing bit on purpose. He _was_ testing me, to see how long I would put up with it until I finally broke down and took matters into my own hands.

"Not long," I muttered, getting up from the bed angrily. "Not long at all."

"What was that?" he asked, a smirk playing on his lips.

I shot a look at him before I escaped to my room to get dressed in my school uniform. I wore my socks up to my thigh, and sepia coloured tie-up boots.

When I came back into the bedroom, he was changing his shirt. I was lucky he just hadn't been in the middle of changing his pants—or more as _he_ was lucky; I can't trust my self control with him any longer.

I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and brush out my hair. I kept it down—which was rare for me, since it was so long. It was to the length of my navel now, and it was a pain to take care of.

Kaname was waiting for me by the exit of his room, holding his books in one hand and balancing mine in the other.

"Thank you," I said dryly, still glaring up at him as I took my things from him.

He smiled, always pleased when I was upset with him. I grumbled under my breath as we went down the staircase and met the group of others. Aidou greeted Kaname first, then me. He always did this. He favoured Kaname. Ruka was glaring back at me with full force when she gave me my good-evening. Seiren stayed silent but bowed to the both of us. Kain mumbled. Takuma was exuberant. Shiki and Rima greeted us simultaneously.

This was just routine—something that happened every evening before we exited the Night Dorms. And—ah, of course—the fan girls that waited out side the gate, screeching like banshees. This, needless to say, did not help improve my sour mood at all.

The school Guardians, Yuuki and Zero, were surprisingly able to keep them under control. Today, it seemed there was more girls waiting for us, screaming louder and flailing their limbs with more effort.

The others circled around Kaname and I, tightly packing us in just in case one of those stupid girls would try to grab Kaname or harm me. This also, was routine. Stupid, boring, routine.

Finally we made it past them, and were disappearing around the corner when their screaming and wailing turned to cries of disappointment. I pinched the skin above my nose and sighed tiredly as we made it into our one class for tonight—we always almost had one to two classes. We weren't graded, and half of the time the teacher didn't show up.

This happened to be one of those times.

Kaname leaned against the window, and I perched to his side. He opened a book and began reading, like he usually did. I swung my legs like a child and stared out of the window as the moon began to slowly heighten in the sky.

Cyrus was on my mind again. I sighed. What was he trying to say? It was so frustrating! Five more seconds, I guarantee you he would have gotten out the rest of that sentence. But then again, five more seconds with the truth revealed and I would have been silenced, too. The hair on my arms bristled as I realized this.

All I know was that he had only been able to say this, "_Listen, Ember—I've discovered something about the Hunter's Society that can change everything! They have papers—_" and that was it before he was killed. I had been too shocked to try to talk with the hunters. I don't think they would have listened anyways. They disappeared just as they had came.

"Ember-sama? Ember?" Takuma waved his hand in front of me.

I focused in on his face.

His lower lips pouted out, and he set his hands on his hips, holding a book in one hand. "A lot on your mind?"

Kaname smiled in my peripheral vision, obviously thinking I was still mad at him from earlier—which I still was.

"Sorry. Yes. What is it?" I asked, sweeping my hair to rest on one shoulder.

He held up the book between to fingers in front of my face. "You asked for this?"

"Ah, yes." I took it, looking at the cover. "Thank you Takuma."

Pleased, Ichijou skipped off to go bug Aidou and Ruka, who were pouting in the corner together and having mumbled conversation about Kaname and I's odd relationship.

I opened the book, started to read, but my eyes were still seeing Cyrus' face. The urgency in his eyes, his mouth twisting on the last word he spoke. In the background, I heard a gunshot.

At first I thought it was just me remembering the other day. But then I physically felt the thickness of quiet that suddenly hovered in the classroom. My eyes came back into focus, and like everyone else, my eyes went to the window.

"Blood." Someone murmured.

My head snapped to my right, to look at Kaname.

"I'm sure it is nothing." he murmured. "Another rouge hunter maybe?" His eyes lingered on my face longer than necessary. Finally he sighed, set his book down, and stood back up straight. "Takuma . . . Kain, Aidou, come with me."

He started exiting the room when Ruka and I both stepped forward. I was closer, and grabbed Kaname's arm. I ignored the look Ruka shot me. "Let me come, too, Kaname."

He turned partway, and looked down at me. "You should stay in here with the others."

"No." I said firmly, my eyebrows furrowing. "I don't want to be left behind."

He sighed, running a hand through his hair like he always did. "If I didn't think it was a hunter, you would be able to come."

"But I'm a pure-blood, too, Kaname." I protested in a low voice. "I'm strong."

He looked down at me, skepticism in his eyes.

I scoffed. "Fine." I said, dropping my arms. "Go."

I turned away from him, glaring out the window, ignoring the shocked murmurs coming from the other night class students gathered randomly around the room.

I heard him sigh, and then the click as the door closed behind them. Tears stung behind my lids, but I refused to cry. Pure-bloods weren't allowed to show emotion in front of others. Emotion made you seem weak.

My toe tapped impatiently. What if it was really rouge hunters out there? Would they be able to hurt Kaname? I trusted Kain, Aidou, and Takuma to take care of him . . . But still. They had killed Cyrus so easily . . .

And then my mind was made up for me. I jumped up on the windows ledge, and kicked it open with my foot. We were on the third floor of the building, but it wouldn't hurt to jump from here. I felt someone grab my ankle. It was Ruka.

"Are you mad?" she hissed up at me. "Kaname told you to stay behind."

"Unlike you, I have freewill." I said, shaking off her hand.

She didn't seem to have a comeback for that one, so with a quick sweeping of my eyes over the classroom, I leaped to the ground.

The rebound was easy. I bent my knees to help the impact, and as soon as I knew I was sturdy, I started in a slow jog, following the scent of blood that was thick in the air. I took a path through the trees and brush that were to the sides of the walkway, so that I wouldn't be seen right away. Despite all of the debris under my feet, I was more quiet then the wind.

The rusty, bittersweet scent made my throat burn, but I had learned self control a long time ago. I couldn't remember the last time I had taken any blood tablets, but I quickly shook the thought off of me and continued forward. It was drawing closer. I could also smell Kaname's scent closer by, too. They must have already found the source.

I stopped when the scent was almost overbearing, and turned slightly to my right, facing the middle section of the walkway that led to both dorm houses and the school. I held my breath, eyes scanning the surface, and found the source quickly.

I felt my stomach roll, which was an odd reaction for a vampire, but there were at least seven to eight bodies piled together, bloody, but still in tact. They had no more blood in their systems though. So who was the one who lost-

"It seems you have finally lost yourself, Kiryuu." Kaname's voice came from behind the large fountain that sat in the middle of the crosswalk.

I noticed a slight bob of movement, a flash of silver, and then the manic laughter sliced through the air. The figure sprang upwards, hands no longer hands, but long claws, and perched on the top of the fountain.

Kaname's face became more viewable as he walked around to stand with the pile of bodies at his feet. Ichijou, Kain, and Aidou flanked his sides, tensed for battle.

I finally recognized the face that was twisted in a Cheshire-cat worthy smile. Zero Kiryuu, one of the school prefects. I almost gasped, but kept silent.

"How sad. It appears I'll have to kill you now," Kaname sighed in a tired way.

Zero cackled, and was about to leap down when a high pitched, girly voice sliced through the air. "Kaname?"

I froze, as everyone else did. My eyes saw the other school prefect running up behind Kaname. Yuuki Cross. Her eyebrows were furrowed, and she was panting. Then, she looked up, and gasped when she saw Zero. "Z-Zero?" she screeched, falling a slight step back.

"Yuuki, get back." Kaname said firmly, placing an arm in front of her.

"Zero!" she yelled, flinging herself forward, tears in her eyes.

Zero, or more as the now Level: E version of Zero, leaped down, fast and swift, aiming for Yuuki.

My heart raced, and I took one step forward as Kaname shouted, "No!" and pushed Yuuki back, into Aidou's arms, as he launched up at Zero to meet him mid-air.

It was over. Zero's eyes widened, and then a human part of him flashed in his face, showing horror. Then he burst into crystallized dust.

Yuuki fell to her knees, sliding out of Aidou's grip, her expression frozen in shock.

Kaname was in front of her then, touching the sides of her face, telling her to look at him, to say something. He picked her up, and took her a few feet down the path, away from the scene of the crime. She seemed to calm down some from that.

What really got me, was the look of anguish and worry that etched themselves into Kaname's features. He looked down at her as he set her down, his eyebrows furrowing.

She finally came back to her senses, and buried her face into his shoulder, sobbing. He wrapped his long arms around her and held her to him tightly.

I had the strangest urge to rip her from him and bare my teeth at the little shit. Kaname was _mine_. Mine, mine, mine.

My heart squeezed painfully as I felt the tears leak onto my cheeks. But that wasn't true. He wasn't mine. But what about last night? Was what he said really true, or was he just fucking with me, like usual?

I didn't want to think of it; to face it. I wanted to say I was only imagining the fact that he was holding her more tenderly, and more lovingly then had had ever held me. I wanted to pretend I didn't see the worry in his eyes, the hallow love there, that didn't belong for anyone but me.

Forget the fact that there were dead bodies rotting to my left, or the fact that Zero Kiryuu had been killed. It wasn't like I hadn't experienced that before.

_Fuck this. _Chanting an old spell Cyrus had taught me, I slowly backed up, eyes still locked on Kaname's face, and then turned and ran at full force. I said the words over and over until I got back to the school building. It was used to cover scents and trails. And right now, I didn't want Kaname to know I had seen that. Not yet.

Ruka and the others looked up simultaneously when I jumped back into the window, closing it behind me. I thanked the good Lord that my eyes were dry now from the run.

I perched back on the edge, and the looked to everyone, who were staring expectantly.

"I never left. Understood?" I said, the authority I had been born to ringing through the room.

A few people bowed and returned to what they were doing. Some hesitantly nodded. Ruka's teeth bared, her eyes torn in rage. I knew she wanted to tell on me. But she couldn't disobey a pure-bloods orders.

I picked up the book Takuma had gave me and pretended to read it. During the fifteen minutes that we waited, I made myself push the hurtful thoughts into a different drawer in my mind and lock it up, trying to save it for another time. I let my face fall blank, and hoped I would be able to keep up the facade in front of Kaname.

The door swung open and Aidou entered first, totally relaxed. He yawned and went back in his corner, but didn't pout this time. Kain walked to his side, while Kaname and Ichijou filed in.

Kaname stayed by the door. "It appears we had a problem with Kiryuu, but it is resolved now. We all should return to the dorms."

I hopped down in sync with the others who started to move about the room. I gathered my school books and the one Takuma had given me and cradled them to my chest as I walked past Kaname.

I was walking faster than the group, just a few feet ahead. I knew this would bring Kaname to suspicion, but my plan was to lock myself in my room and not come out for a long, long time.

He caught up to me easily with those long legs of his. "Is something the matter, Ember?"

I didn't look up at him. "No." I murmured, as we entered the gate. It squealed shut behind the rest of us.

Kaname paused at the bottom of the stairs to talk to Ichijou, while I just rocketed up the stairs and through the double doors of

Kaname's room. I threw my books onto the coffee table and debated on a shower. I felt like I needed one after what I had just saw, but I also wanted to avoid Kaname as much as possible.

With a long, exaggerated sigh, I gathered what I needed for a shower and locked both of the bathroom doors.

I heard when Kaname entered his room. I stood in front of the sink, brushing my hair in a hushed manner. His footsteps came into the bedroom and then paused by the bathroom door. I could hear his heart beating. I pictured him contemplating on knocking or not. Finally, his knuckles rapped against the door.

"Yes?" I asked, keeping my tone even.

"Can you open the door?" he sighed.

I set the brush down, calculated my expression in the mirror, and then opened the door. I blocked any entryway for him, and kept my eyes locked on a spot above his head. "What?"

"Are you mad at me?"

"What for?" I asked.

He raised an eyebrow in my peripheral vision. "You tell me."

"No, I'm not mad at you."

"Then why aren't you looking at me?"

I bit my tongue, blood filling my mouth. I quietly swallowed, before tearing my eyes down to look at his face.

So perfect and beautiful. I wanted to rip it to shreds. A muscle in my jaw ticked. He noticed.

His hand wrapped around mine that was holding the door open. "Tell me what's wrong, Ember."

"Nothing is wrong, Kaname." I said, using a little more force then necessary. "I would like to take a shower now. Do you mind?"

He sighed. "I do, actually."

I raised my eyebrows.

"Listen . . . I don't think of you as weak or anything of the sorts, Ember. But I didn't want you to go because the idea of you getting

hurt . . . or worse . . . is hard to bear."

Blood filled my mouth again. Dammit. Damn fucking it. Why did he have to go and say shit like that now? I felt the tears well in my eyes as my gaze fell to the ground.

"I know." I whispered hoarsely, his words punching holes through my mask. "Just let me shower, please."

Finally his hand slid off of mine with a sigh.

I shut the door in his face, turning the lock.

I leaned against the door, and bit my lip to hold back the sobs that stuck in my throat.

Hurriedly, I jumped into the shower and washed off like I was a programmed robot. When I finished rinsing the conditioner out of my hair, the pain overtook me. Like I had just been hit in the stomach, I lost all of the air in my lungs and fell to my knees.

My heart throbbed painfully in my chest as I moaned, leaning into the cool tile of the wall. My empty stomach heaved, nothing coming up. My fist pounded against the floor of the tub in anguish. Why me?

And while I was still getting over Cyrus.

It was like I was covered in wounds that were still healing. And then suddenly out of nowhere, someone just decided to rip off all the scabs and bring the fresh blood to the surface.

Unfair. This was all fucking unfair. What did I ever do to deserve this? Why did I have to love Kaname so much? All that it had ever boughten me was pain. Pain, pain, and pain. Searing, white hot pain that burned through my veins with every breath I took.

All I wanted to do was die. Die and be rid of. Then he wouldn't have to bother with me anymore.

The water turned icy on my bare back, causing me to quiver.

After fifty deep breaths and more shaking, I turned the water off and got out of the shower. I wrapped myself in a towel, searching for warmth. I stayed cold even when I dried off. Reluctantly I dressed in my dark pajama pants and matching tank-top. I didn't wear a bra. I didn't have it in me to care anymore, and I was sure Kaname wouldn't mind anyways. Not like I was gonna sleep with him again, anyways.

I exited the bathroom, my hair still dripping wet, which probably was one more reason why I was still so freaking cold.

Kaname sat on the edge of the bed, dressed in his sleep-wear also. He stood when I entered the room. I didn't meet his gaze.

"Ember." he said as I started for the closet. His arms wrapped around my waist and I suddenly felt dirty all over again. Those were the same arms he had used to wrap around Yuuki.

I stayed still as his lips came to my temple. "Please, tell me what happened. Did Ruka say something to you?"

I laughed, a bitter sound. "No."

He sighed, his warm breath causing goosebumps to rise on my exposed skin.

"I'm tired." I whispered, and gently slithered out of his hold. "I'm going to bed." I started for the closet again, opening it, but his large hand caught mine.

"Won't you sleep with me again tonight?"

I resisted the urge to laugh. Instead, I pulled my hand back, and stepped into the closet. "Goodnight, Kaname."

I shut the doors and didn't waste a moment to disappear into my room and lock the door behind me. I heard when he re-opened the closet doors. He sighed.

I started piling my blankets together again and this time was thankfully uninterrupted. But I knew he was standing outside of my door, listening, holding his breath. I threw a couple of pillows and another blanket on before I laid down. It was uncomfortable and hurt my back, but it was better than nothing.

I laid staring at the ceiling, still feeling him out there.

After I counted that an hour had went by, I sighed and got to my feet. I went by the door but didn't open it.

"Are you going to stand there all night, Kaname?"

I heard his muffled chuckle. "I might as well." he sighed. "I won't be able to sleep with you mad at me."

"For the last time, I am not mad at you!" I groaned, exasperated.

"You sound mad now." he pointed out, sounding smug.

I bit my lip to keep from smiling. Damn him.

"Whatever, Kaname. Stand there all you want. Goodnight."

He fell quiet again, and I heard him sit down.

I rolled my eyes. He was such a pain in the ass.

Instead of laying down, I sat on my bean bag instead. Looking around the room I let my mind wander.

And then my throat stung painfully again.

Oh right. When was the last time I had had the tablets? I stood, and found my backpack. I reached inside for my vial, and then pulled it out.

Oh right, again. I had meant to get another bottle and re-fill it. Since this bottle now had Cyrus' remains in it. And great. That means I would have to go out of the closet and ask Kaname for some.

I groaned out loud, putting the vial back in my bag carefully. I heard Kaname shift his weight outside.

I bit my lip gently, deliberating. Would I be able to wait until the morning, or the next night even? The ache in my throat said otherwise.

I taped my fingers to my forehead, and then ran my hands through my tangled hair.

Finally, with yet another sigh, I unlocked and opened the door.

Kaname sat on the ground and looked up at me expectantly.

I forced a dry swallow down my throat. "Would you be so kind as to provide me some sustenance?" I held up the new, empty vial in my hand.

He stood, and took the bottle from me. "Didn't I refill you just last week? I gave you enough for a month."

I flushed, my eyes down to the floor again. My appetite had been a little feverish lately. I shrugged it off and walked out of the closet back into his bedroom.

He watched me carefully, and walked ahead of me, heading for his bedside table, where he kept his stash of blood tablets. But then he suddenly turned on me, catching me as I ran into his chest, surprised. My breath caught in my throat. He wrapped one arm around my waist, holding me to him, and used his other hand to coax my chin up so I would look him in the eye. "Is there something you're not telling me, Ember?"

I forced yet another, painfully dry swallow. The heat coming from his skin only made it worse. "No, now, please, Kaname . . ." I squirmed in his hold, but he only tightened it. "I need some tablets."

His eyes narrowed down at me in suspicion, but he let go of me and turned to fill my bottle.

I waited a little impatiently. He recapped the vial and handed it to me. It was filled to the top with the white pills.

"Thank you," I murmured, before turning and heading back to my room to take a dose. Or five.

"Hold it." he said, grabbing my wrist.

I groaned, the pain in my throat increasing. "What, Kaname?"

"Why did you go through your tablets so fast?" he asked, turning me to face him.

I shrugged. "I guess I just waited longer to take them, that's all."

His eyebrows furrowed. "How are you feeling now?"

"Tired." And then pulling my hand free from his, I added, "And really freaking annoyed."

His jaw clenched.

"Good_night_, Kaname." I said, and quickly dashed into my room, locking the door behind me again.

He took his spot by the outside again.

Ignoring him, I quickly opened the bottle and dumped about half of the pills into my mouth. I groaned with the subtle relief it granted me as the pills dissolved like butter in my mouth. But it still wasn't enough to quench the burning, like it had before. What was wrong with me? I quickly poured the rest into my mouth, and dropped the vial with a grunt when I still realized I was dissatisfied.

I tapped my toe, trying to figure out what to do. The burning and dryness was back like it hadn't left in the first place. Quickly, I opened the door. This time Kaname was standing.

He opened his mouth to question me, but I swiftly barreled into him, sending him back into the bedroom. When the back of his legs hit the bed, I knocked him back onto it.

I think I lost all rationalization to the thirst, because I was suddenly drunk on the scent coming from just below the thin layer of his skin. My tongue, hot and wet, dashed out to sweep over his jugular vein. Then, as my fangs elongated, my jaw closed around his neck. I moaned as the bittersweet liquid slid down my throat in mouthfuls with my hasty swallows. So good, so sweet. So soothing, so hot. I heard his shocked intake of breath. My mind was way past thinking. I closed my eyes, savoring the taste, the feeling of it as it was sucked into my mouth.

My hands slithered over the exposed section of his chest, over his collarbones, then to the opposite side of his neck and went to tangle in his dark brown hair.

I gulped his blood greedily_. Mine, mine, mine. _Those words echoed through my mind in a sick, but pleasurable way.

Finally, after my stomach felt full and my throat felt quenched, I relaxed my jaws and parted from his neck. My teeth marks on his pale flesh were deep and already swollen.

Finally, after my breathing slowed, I realized what I had just done. I felt my stomach roll in embarrassment, my face heating._ Oh, good Lord._

I shot off of him like he had been lit on fire. My hand went up to cover the lower half of my face. "Kaname . . . I-"

He sat up slowly, using his hand to run it through his hair, away from his face. "Were you that thirsty, Ember?"

My mouth opened but I couldn't find my voice.

He sighed, and dropped his hand to his neck, where the puncture wounds were already healing. He brought his red fingers to his lips, and then licked off his blood. "Were you in pain, then?"

I nodded mutely, my hand dropping weakly to my side. He had such a good pokerface. I could only imagine what would happen next.

He stood and came to stand in front of me. "You should have just told me," he whispered, a broken sound. He leaned down and licked the corners of my mouth, where his blood lingered.

I closed my eyes, tears spilling over. I guess that's what he would blame my attitude on. Should I tell him that I had seen? Would he try to deny it? What were his feelings for her? So many questions, so little courage.

I broke back from him, and swiped at my tears. His hands replaced mine and wiped them away. "I'm not mad at you." he said, hoping that would calm me.

I shook my head and took another step back. "I need to be alone." I choked out, and ran back to the confinements of my little store room.

God, why did I love him so much? Why?

I curled into a ball on my make-shift bed and cried until I was dry. I never fell asleep.

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><p><strong>How was it? What are your thoughts? Please review.<strong>

**Not sure when I'll update again . . . But the more reviews I get, the better chance this'll be updated sooner. Ciao, lovelies! ;)**


	3. Short Insight

**_Vampire Knight © Matsuri Hino_**

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><p><strong>Alright. This chapter is in Kaname's POV(point of view) because (1)I needed to test if I could portray him correctly or not and (2), because this chapter highlights some major problems in the story that need to be considered. <strong>

**PEOPLE NEED TO REVIEW ON THIS PLEASE.**

**And also, I'm changing the rating to M(mature) to be safe . . .**

**Happy reading!**

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><p><span>Kaname's POV(Point Of View):<span>

I took a seat on the edge of my bed, my hand coming up to run through my hair. Ember had just run off to her room. My hand came down to my neck, brushing past the spot she had bitten, where it was now healed.

I really hadn't expected her to just run out and bite me like that. She was so unpredictable at times. Still so young. It made me wonder why her thirst had gotten so bad. Pure-bloods like ourselves usually never lost control. Was I missing something? We were on equal footing here, even if she _was_ younger than I, so she could be easily hiding something from me.

I heard her crying. I wanted nothing more then to pull her from that room and hold her to my chest. But I had made a promise not to enter that room without her permission. And I knew standing or sitting outside of the door would not persuade her to ever come back out.

I fell back on the bed, closing my eyes, letting my mind wander.

_Ember_. I pictured her face, heart shaped, and beautiful as always. Her light pink lips, flushed with aggravation, as they parted in a sigh. She was so innocent, despite her blood stained past. Did I really want to take that innocence from her? Would she understand the consequences of becoming my lover? Was I selfish enough to not care?

But I already knew the answer to the latter. My own sigh dragged out of my mouth. How I wish things could be easy. But things were only getting harder.

It was just getting harder to restrain her. To keep her so far away.

There was always Yuuki, too, to think about. My little sister, the one born to be my wife. I was the only one who knew. She was in pain. She was hurting over Zero. Despite everything, she had fallen in love with that hunter. She had been so willing, so fragile in my arms. I had made a promise to Haruka and Juri that I would take care of her. But how could I do so when I had Ember in my life now?

I loved them both.

_Yuuki_. I had watched her grow up since she was just an infant. I had always been by her side. Always looking out as an older brother should. Did I love her more than that, though?

_Ember_. We had known each other before Yuuki was born. Way before I gave myself to Haruka and Juri. Even then, it was hard to resist her. She's a strong girl. So beautiful it's almost beyond comprehension. I loved her in ways that were indescribable with words. And now she was hurting over me. My whole being ached for her. The thought of her in danger was enough to cause me physical pain.

I had been leading both on, and now I'm stuck in the middle.

If I let Yuuki sit human for much longer, she could succumb to madness. But if she came back as herself . . . as the true born pure-blood daughter of the Kuran's, the girl who was born to be my wife . . . What would happen then?

I had priorities as a pure-blood. Responsibilities. Certain things were expected to me. Would I even be able to defy the promise I had made to Haruka and Juri and still be able to live with it forever? If I kept that promise, would I be able to stand watching Ember suffer even more? No to each question. It was such a heavy decision.

Yuuki would know that she was born to be my wife. Would she be able to understand the love that had grown in my heart for Ember? Would she blame herself? I had waited ten years so far after all. Would she blame it on making me wait?

Would Ember understand all of this? I could see her reaction now, if I tried to explain it to her. Would she be able to except it? Would she give me up?

I sat back up stiffly. She had stopped crying in the other room. I wondered if she had fallen asleep.

Either way, either decision, I would be putting a sharp dagger through the heart of someone I love. Would it be worth it in the end? Would I be able to live with myself?

If Yuuki had excepted this, excepted my love for Ember over her, would she be able to live on the sidelines? Live watching me love another woman while she still had strong feelings for me? I was all she had left when it came down to it. It was the same thing with Ember.

I stood, and slowly made my way back to the door of her room. I leaned my forehead against it, closing my eyes, listening.

"Go away, Kaname." I heard her muffled voice croak out weakly. It was hoarse from crying.

I sighed, sadly and with relief. "Please Ember, come to the door."

"No. Go away." she said, her voice breaking.

My hand gripped the doorknob and shook it twice, realizing it was locked. "Then let me in."

"You're not allowed in here." she said, more sharply. I heard the swishing of fabric as she must of sat up.

"Then come out." I said, slight smugness in my voice.

Despite everything, the stupid sadomasochist inside of me liked when she was upset. I hated the fact she was hurting over me, and at the same time, it caused me a sense of possession over her . . . which was a great pleasure.

I heard her take hesitant footsteps toward the door. She paused a few feet away.

"Please." I said, taking a slight step back, but had one arm extended to the door.

"I can't." she said, new tears in her tone.

"I'll tear the door off if I have to, Ember."

She sniffed, and took another step or two towards the door and me.

"Just unlock the door for me." I whispered, my hand already on the knob.

Finally, I left the click as the door unlocked beneath my hand. I flung the door open, but Ember jumped a good ten feet back from the doorway so I couldn't grab her. Smart, too, she was.

"Ember." I sighed, holding out my hands for her.

She shook her head, tears spilling down her blotchy red cheeks. Her eyes were puffy from crying so much, and her bottom lip was chewed raw. The sight felt like it tore my heart right in two.

"Come." I said, my voice a little lower with emotion.

She looked up, obviously seeing it on my face. The tears came faster and a sob tore up through her throat as she tried to take another step back.

I couldn't stand it any longer. Promise or no promise, I stepped through the door and enveloped her in my arms.

She beat against my chest and tried to break free of my grasp, but I only held her tighter, bowing my head down to press my face into her hair.

Her sobs became more desperate, as she still struggled for freedom.

"Please stop trying to put distance between us." I whispered, using one of my hands to pet the hair that was resting on her shoulder.

That seemed to make her falter. "I hate you, Kaname. I hate you!" she whispered angrily, burying her face into my chest and gripping onto the back of my shirt harshly.

I smiled, kissing the top of her head. "I hate myself, too."

She laughed, a little hysterical sound that bubbled through her lips.

"Come, you need to sleep." I said, and scooped her up into my arms, carrying her out of the room and turning off the light on the way out.

I set her on my bed, and pulled the blankets over her.

"Would you like me to sleep with you?" I asked, touching her cheeks softly.

She closed her eyes and sighed. "Just get under the covers, Kaname."

My lips twitched as I tried to fight off my smile, but I did as she told me, and pulled her fully into my side.

She turned on her side and wrapped her arm around my torso, her leg curling around mine.

I pressed my lips to her forehead and sighed, inhaling her scent into my lungs.

She closed her eyes, and fell asleep quickly.

I watched her, tracing her features with my fingers like I had did before, and before I sank into my own slumber, I kissed each of her eyelids gently.

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><p><strong>Please, <em>puh-lease<em>, review people. I need insight. To keep me going.**

_**I know the plot and the whole story period is confusing and a bit jumbled right now, but I promise I have it all planned out, and if you just stick with me, it'll get better along the way.**_

**And I apologizing for this being so short. Like I said, this was just a test. **

**Forth chapter will be back in Ember's POV. And things should start getting better from there.**

_**Let me know if I portrayed Kaname alright. If you guys liked this chapter(where it was in his POV), let me know, and I might fill in some chapters with his POV, too.**_

**Thanks either way, until next time! :D**


	4. Running

How could I have let myself be brought back in by him? How did I ever let myself be talked into being in bed with him again? Was I a masochist? Was this pain subconsciously pleasure? Was that the reason I always seemed to cave in to him?

The morning sun woke me up. I didn't get much sleep. My best bet was that we had ended up falling asleep a little over three hours ago. Kaname was dead asleep beside me. And if it wasn't for the subtle rising and falling of his chest, I would have thought he really _was_ dead. I could see in his features just how tired he was.

Somehow I had hooked myself around him, my leg drawn up to his hip, our groins pressing together. My arms were around his neck. His hands were on my waist, limp, but still there, holding me to him. I drew myself closer to him, just so my face was a few inches away, and let my tears fall silently.

How could I love him in this state? There was so much confusion, so much pain. But I always came back. Back for more pain, more suffering. I really was a masochist. But weren't most vampires?

I leaned my forehead against his and drew in a shaky breath. He stirred slightly, shifting forward, and our lips met.

I gasped, my eyes that were still crying opening wide in shock. I was frozen, so I couldn't even pull back. A minute or so later, his eyes, filled with sleep, blinked open. So he wasn't pretending. I stayed still, my eyes still locked at the size of Frisbees.

His eyebrows furrowed, and then he registered what was going on. He pulled back, looking at my lips, still open partially from my gasp. He drew one brow upwards, looking at me.

I blinked, tears falling down my cheeks. "You, ah, moved. And I was too close." Finally able to move, I covered my face, embarrassed. I had not pictured our first kiss like that at all.

His hands reached up to pull my wrists away from my face.

"You weren't just taking advantage of me?"

I laughed, still sounding a bit hysterical since I was still crying. "Yeah, sure."

He let go of my hands and brought his fingers to tangle in the hair on the back of my neck. Then he pulled me closer, closing the distance between our faces.

I thought I was dreaming. Kaname was kissing me. I had to be dreaming. But it felt too real to be a dream. Was I just imagining it then? But I couldn't even describe the feelings that ran through me, from head to toe.

Passion; white hot passion burned through my veins almost painfully, igniting short wicks of other emotions that seemed to flood me all at once. Electricity charged under my skin, shocking me all over. His lips on mine were hot. Too hot. They stung. Our mouths parted simultaneously, and I found my eyes closing, my own hands coming up to tangle in his hair. Our breath swirled together, making my head spin.

I felt like I was a balloon, and all of a sudden, someone cut me free and I was floating up, up, up. High above the ground, and soon out of this world and in another. This couldn't be real. But it was.

I held onto him with all my strength, my leg hooking around his hip tighter, bringing our groins closer, pressing together so hard it almost hurt. He groaned into my mouth, one of his hands sliding down the length of my body to grab my hip, hooking it still closer to his.

This was sick. Sick and stupid. I knew I would regret it later. I wasn't planning on staying any longer here, with him. I wanted to be far away. But did I even have the strength to leave? To put more distance between us? His words echoed in my mind. _Please stop trying to put distance between us. _This was so wrong. So unfair. Yet I couldn't get enough of him . . . Couldn't get close enough . . .

_I hate myself, too_. He had said.

He should. He should hate himself for what he's put me through. The bastard. Dammit.

My breathing was ragged, my heart pounded in my chest. I could feel Kaname everywhere. Smell him, taste him. He was everywhere; in every pore of my body. But, _God_, why didn't it seem good enough?

I brought myself over him, never parting from his lips. His hands touched me everywhere; my face, my hair, my neck, my shoulders, my chest, my back, my stomach, my hips, the upper parts of my legs.

I was still crying. I couldn't stop. No matter how wonderful this felt, no matter how perfect this moment was, it could not smother the pain that still left my insides feeling raw.

Why did I have to love him? _Why, why, why._

He sighed, finally taking his mouth from mine. I wasn't sure whether to be relieved or sad. But he trailed his wet lips to my jaw, then down the sides of my neck, kissing my collarbones, then back up, to press hard against my jugular vein.

I shuddered, moaning. I had always wanted him to drink from me. I wanted him to be a part of me, for me to be a part of him. I had taken his blood last night, and now he needed to return the favour.

His fangs dragged against my skin, prodding, leaving sore, sensitive spots. He did this to both sides of my neck, causing me to whimper. I think he enjoyed it. But of course he did, the stupid sadistic bastard that he was.

Finally, he bit deeply into my right side.

A mewl bubbled up through my lips, my eyes falling closed again as I listened as he took in my blood. Such a sweet . . . sad . . . sound.

He drank for a long time, but I didn't mind. I just savored this moment . . . trying to memorize everything before it all vanished like every other good thing about our relationship.

Kaname parted from me with a deep sigh. His took in a few deep breaths before licking the puncture wounds and then bringing my lips back to meet his.

His mouth was still tainted with my blood, and I lashed out my tongue to finally sweep over his. He pushed on the back of my head, deepening our kiss. His tongue won in the dominance department, but I didn't care.

How I wish we could have stayed this way forever.

He pulled back, and when I opened my eyes, his were already open and watching me.

He brushed the wetness from my cheeks. "Please don't cry," he murmured, his voice a little husky.

I laughed in a sad way, shaking my head.

Kaname sighed, and kissed me lightly once before shifting me back to his side. He closed his eyes, his arms wrapping around my waist.

"I'm tired." he whispered into my neck.

I almost rolled my eyes, but instead pet his hair. "Go to sleep."

I didn't count the time. I just laid there, and finally released the breath I had been holding when I could tell he was asleep.

Very carefully and very slowly, I removed his arms from me and scooted off the bed. Once free, I stood and stretched, and went

back into my room.

I prayed that he wasn't a light sleeper.

As quickly as I could, I brushed out my hair and tied it in a knot on the back of my neck, out of my face. I pulled on some old jeans and a long sleeved tee. Digging through some of my boxes, I found my old traveling backpack. It wasn't big, but it could hold a lot of shit. I started throwing in clothing for all kinds of weather. A tooth brush and toothpaste was next. Then a compass and a map.

Then I just threw in some other necessities for survival without shelter and such, before zipping it up and pulling it over my shoulder.

Plopping down on my beanbag, I quickly picked up my notepad and pencil, and began to write a letter to Kaname. Tears leaked down and marked the paper, but I didn't try to wipe them off, since I was afraid of smearing the ink.

_Kaname, _I wrote, hoping that my hurried handwriting would be readable._ I hope you'll be able to forgive me. I've left you. I don't know for how long. I need some time to figure things out for myself . . . and there are answers I am in search for. I love you, know that. Please don't look for me. Please don't be upset with me. As long as I am able, I plan on returning to Cross Academy, and you. Don't worry about me. I can take care of myself. _Taking a deep, ragged breath, I finished by signing my name after the word _Love. _

I folded the letter in two and wrote his name on the front. Then, I found my hidden jar of money and two credit cards and shoved it in my backpack. Lastly, I tied on some weather resistant, sturdy, boots.

Now for the hard part.

I gathered five empty vials plus the one I had dropped last night, and snuck back into his room. His back was facing me and the place I needed to be.

Tip-toeing, I went to his bedside table and filled all six vials with blood tablets as carefully and quietly as I could. Luckily, by the time I had them down in my backpack, he was still asleep.

Gently, I reached over him and placed the letter in his open palm.

I didn't look at his face. I left his bedroom, shutting the door behind me quietly, and did the spell to cover my trail as I jumped from one of the windows in his living room.

The cold fall air cleared my head right away. That and the bright sunlight that was streaming from overhead. It appeared to be noon.

I quickly dashed using the cover of the bushes to the spot I always left on, and jumped over the tall gate surrounding the night dorms.

I didn't look back, either, as I landed on the ground on the outside. I took off in the direction that Cyrus was murdered.

I felt really stupid by the time I reached my old training ground. What was I _doing_? I didn't know. I was just acting on thought, the idiot I am. Ugh, _idiot, idiot, idiot. _I knew I should turn around and just . . . go back to Kaname. Try to work things out. But, there was some rational reasoning in my thought. I needed to find out what Cyrus had found against the Hunters Society. I needed to know . . . why he had died.

Yes, that was my reasoning. Stick to it. Just go through with it.

I knelt down where his remains had been. I touched the ground, let my mind wander.

I could see the hunters. One male, one female. In their later twenties. Both had black hair. The female was short, but muscular, and had a short pixie cut hairstyle with gray eyes. The male had longer hair, was tall, and lean. He wore glasses and had brown eyes. Their profile ran through my head quickly, embedding into my brain. Then their scents.

I was glad it hadn't rained, or else their scent would have faded completely. It had been at least two almost three days since the incident, so there was some slight trail left. I quickly took off in the direction it was coming from.

Through the forest . . . far from town, over the hills. It broke off in two directions, obviously to prevent being followed. So I was stuck in the middle of the fork, glancing back and forth in both directions.

I needed more training. But I had to keep strong faith in myself, like Cyrus had always told me to do. I closed my eyes, inhaled deeply, and waited.

Finally, a loud calling of a raven overhead made me glance up. It circled over my head, a little too close for comfort, and then took off down the path the right half of the paths.

I followed.

Where was I getting off with this? What if I found out what Cyrus had? They would probably kill me and or anyone else that I tried to tell. Just like Cyrus. They had defiled their contract, the one that forbid them to kill pure-bloods. If it wasn't for Kaname, you would think that the whole vampire existence would have already waged war.

I don't know how long I had been running, through a very jig-jagged path through all kinds of terrain. All I know, was that it grew dark.

I stopped under the shelter of a great oak in an unfamiliar forest. I built a small fire and parked it on the ground, warming my hands. The raven that had lead me earlier was in the tree above me, ruffling its wings.

I wondered if this were a trap. Or just luck. Or something.

Whatever. Not like I had much to live for anyways. What? Go back and suffer for Kaname some more? I wasn't even sure I would go back after this. I would rather get killed trying to spread the information to others. Maybe that's why I had decided this. It was a suicide mission. A good one, too. I hadn't told Kaname about what Cyrus had said, so he wouldn't have a clue that I was running to the Hunters Society. Which I guess was a good thing.

It was night time, probably about eight or nine now. I should've grabbed my watch. Oh, well. I wasn't thirsty yet, but for extra strength, I popped three blood pills in my mouth, and then got out my map and a sharpie. I drew a line from Cross Academy to Cyrus' murder spot, and then to where I found the fork to be. Then from there, followed the right side, and to where I guess I would be now.

Judging the distance on the map, I had made it way out of the city's limits. I was about three or four towns over. Maybe over five hundred miles away already. For a normal human, they would've died before the halfway point of this. I had just drank from Kaname, another pure-blood, so I had more strength and energy than usual.

I knew Kaname would be awake by now. I wished I knew what he was thinking, what he felt when he read my note. If he was looking for me, or followed my advice. If he maybe felt relieved I had rid myself of him, or maybe if he went off to go celebrate with that little shit of a prefect, Yuuki.

I shook my head, concentrating.

The bird above me squawked, causing me to jump to my feet. My hands were already on the sword in my backpack. The one handed down my family line. The one that could hurt vampires.

I drew the weapon up, and braced my back against the tree so it wasn't unprotected.

"Who's there?" I asked, eyes scanning the surrounding darkness.

"Relax, child." I heard a deep, familiar voice coming from somewhere in front of me.

Then he stepped out of the brush. Tall, pale, pointed features, and dark hair like me. His eyes . . .

I dropped my sword with a sharp gasp.

The raven swooped down and landed on his upraised hand. He kissed the bird on the beak and set it on his shoulder.

"How long has it been . . . little sister?"


End file.
